HOnTed DOG By Cat cat Productions +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ + This movie was only outlined and fully improvised. For curious fans, + + we present to you the full transcript of the film below. + +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ ***BEGIN TRANSCRIPT*** [Creepy music] >> FATHER BILLIAM: Alright, here we are at Mrs. Sarah's place. She gave us a phone call not too long ago. She seems to be having some sort of problems. Which I hope to be a help. >> SARAH: Hey Father Billiam. It's great to see you. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Hello, how are you? >> SARAH: I'm a little scared right now Uh, what's that? >> FATHER BILLIAM: Oh, we're filming an audition tape. >> SARAH: Oh ok, uh...yeah...come on in. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Sure, how are the kids? >> SARAH: I have fish. FATHER BILLIAM: Right, right. How's your husband? >> SARAH: He died a year ago, you did his funeral. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Is that the microwave? >> SARAH: Yea, that's what's been acting so weird. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Alright. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Well, this is going to be dangerous. [TV static] Perhaps you should stand back. >> SARAH: Yea, I'll be near the fish. [TV static] >> FATHER BILLIAM: Alright. >> SARAH: Please be Careful. FATH BILLIAM: Are you still filming Sal? Alright. Alright. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Oh God! [Evil laughter is heard] [Microwave door opens] Oh Lord Jesus! [Stormy wind sounds] Uh let's see, Refrigerators, no that's not right. >> SARAH: Holy crap, what's going on? >> FATHER BILLIAM: George Foreman g...no...yes. Oh here we go, microwaves. [Speaking Latin] Et dixit vade [Evil spirit screaming] >> FATHER BILLIAM: Pellentesque procedendum cibo. EVIL SPIRIT: No! Stop! >> FATHER BILLIAM: Calidum canis ab inferno. [Sounds of evil spirit in pain continue] >> FATHER BILLIAM: Relinquo micro unda! EVIL SPIRIT: No!!! >> FATHER BILLIAM: Relinquo micro unda! EVIL SPIRIT: No! Stop! >> FATHER BILLIAM: Relinquo micro unda! EVIL SPIRIT: Stop! Stop Father Billiam! [Microwave closes] [TV static] [Lights flicker] >> SARAH: Father Billiam? Father Billiam are you alright? [Sausage is slammed on counter] >> FATHER BILLIAM: Lunch is served. [Father Billiam grunts] >> SARAH: Oh my God! [Father Billiam grunts] >> FATHER BILLIAM: I don't know brother Sal, I just don't feel right about this anymore. Perhaps we should stop shooting these audition videos. ...ever since last Thursday. Anyway, we should cut - after I do ten more of these. [Cell phone vibrates] Uh yes hello, Father Billiam. WOMAN ON PHONE: Hi, I'd like to get an exorcism. >> FATHER BILLIAM: I don't do that anymore. I'm sorry. Goodbye. [Closes phone and puts it down] [Modern phone rings] Uh yes hello, Father Billiam here. MAN ON PHONE: Hi, can I order an exorcism? >> FATHER BILLIAM: I don't do that anymore! I'm sorry. Goodbye. [Hangs up phone] [Rotary phone rings] Yes hello, Father Billiam. MAN ON PHONE: Hey do you want to buy some weed? >> FATHER BILLIAM: I don't do that anymore! Goodbye. [Phone is hung up] [Ancient phone rings] Uh yes, hello Father Billiam here. SARAH: Hello. I need an exorcism. >> FATHER BILLIAM: I don't do those anymore! SARAH: Father Billiam, it's back. >> FATHER BILLIAM: It's, it's back? >> SARAH: Back again. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Oh, oh God. [Phone tin clanks against wall] SARAH: Father Billiam? >> FATHER BILLIAM: Oh, oh Lord Jesus. SARAH: Are you there Father Billiam? Hello? >> FATHER BILLIAM: We're at Sarah's place. She gave me a call the other day. We're coming up right now. She seemed really bothered by something. >> SARAH: Uh... FATHER BILLIAM: Sarah! >> SARAH: Father Billiam. FATHER BILLIAM: How are you? >> SARAH: Hi! I'm actually leaving, going to visit my aunt in Syracuse. FATHER BILLIAM: You're leaving right now? >> SARAH: Yea, the doctor..she's setting me up with the doctor- Jewish Doctor thing. There's cookies in there. I'm just gonna go. >> FATHER BILLIAM: So are we not...we're not doing the thing? SARAH: No no no no. I trust you. You're a priest. I'm just gonna go. I don't have keys on me. Just go out the back door. You know, just enjoy. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Alright then, uh yes. Good bye then. Have a good night. SARAH: Bye! >> SARAH: Uh, why is this not? Oh, there we go. Ok. >>FATHER BILLIAM: Alright, here we go. [Door creaks then closes] [Heavy breathing] Sal, you got that light? [flicks light switch] Great. Gosh darn it! Well, I guess it's just us and the Lord now. Hello? Is anybody there? Show yourself! God commands it! [heavy breathing] I don't know Sal. I've got a bad feeling about this. Oh God. Oh Lord! EVIL SPIRIT: You thought you had me! >> FATHER BILLIAM: Let's see here... EVIL SPIRT: RELISH in fear Father Billiam. >> FATHER BILLIAM: Oh I had it upside down. [Evil Spirit laughs] Let's see. Prayer for the poor. No, that's not it. Uh, prayer for the divorced. Sal, this isn't the right book! >> EVIL SPIRIT: I am your VURST nightmare. FATHER BILLIAM: Great! [Billiam grunts in pain] It's getting hot. Ah! What's...ah! [Books slams on floor] [Sliding noise] [heavy breathing] [heavy breathing continues] >> EVIL SPIRIT: Do you like fast food?! FATHER BILLIAM: Ohhh God. Ohhhh!!!! [Evil Spirit laughs] Oh Lord! Oh God! [TV static] THE END. ***END TRANSCRIPT*** +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ | This Cat cat Production e-text was entered by members of the | | Lil Horror Film Guys Table #69 (LHFGT69) on this online | | service. | | For further information concerning Cat Cat e-texts, please send | | email to: | | catcatprods@gmail.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+ ============================================================================== Cat cat Productions HOnTed Dog Ver 1.00 10/31/2013 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ==================================End of File=================================